Hurt People Hurt People: Healing Can Be Treacherous
It can be so easy to over empathize and to over accept knowing why people hurt. It is easy to fall back into the cycle to become, yet again, a hurt person who hurts people.
It can be easy to overestimate the breadth of healing having only been surrounded by hurt people who hurt people.
It can be easy to overestimate steadfastness in logic and ability to not react.
It can be easy to think you can help people who are hurting desperately as you once did. It is easy to forget that reaction is attention and that some will stop at nothing for MORE.
It is not easy to walk through this life alone.
It is not easy to determine who is beyond their pain and who will not hurt you.
And, even when good people arrive, it can be hard to know how to interact, having little experience with healthy interaction. Being healed does not make envy and frustration inevitable.
It may seem easier to go back to old social circles and to old ways of interacting. There, avoidance of pain will destroy your integrity, sense of self, mind, or all three.
Starting over is harder than anyone will ever tell you.
It is like having no skin at all. Raw flesh attracts predators creating mirrors of delusion leaving one with an ersatz coat of a predator or a tattered jacket of charred flesh.
Isolation and self mirroring leave holes that may not be readily visible. The leaks must be sought out and patched. This grafted skin must have time to heal. So often, it does not.
Falling back into over empathizing and over accepting, even with the pretext of love, can actually help hurt people hurt themselves. It prevents them from seeking and patching their own holes.
But even just a glimpse of life on the other side is astounding, revealing a great richness of life through nature’s beauty and positive human interaction.
Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton